I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im holly from the hills drunk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
