Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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