Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
