North Korea, Best Korea!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
