Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize