Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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