Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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