Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
