trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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