He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
