every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
