we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
