That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
