I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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