I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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