it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
