If i come over, it means nothing
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize