In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
