this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
