You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
