Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
