I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
