everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
