Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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