I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
