I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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