Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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