so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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