Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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