Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
