when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize