Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
