I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
