doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
