shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
