you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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