we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
