Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
