please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize