Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize