Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize