i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
