Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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