I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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