Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
