I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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