You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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