This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
