I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize