Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
