After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
