I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
