I hope mine doesn't look like that
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
