Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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