I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
