1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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