Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
