Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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