just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
