It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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