i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
