I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Church boner. Awkwardddd
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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