Where is the hickey?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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