My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
