do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
