FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
