At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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