So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize